Getting Married with Your Children
Our tips for Parents
ADD FABULOUS TITLE including KWP
Add Sub heading here
Getting Married With Children
Getting married is one of the biggest days of your life. Add children into the mix, and it becomes even more meaningful – and more unpredictable. Whether you’re planning an intimate elopement or a celebration with family and friends, being both “the couple” and “mum or dad” at the same time can feel like spinning plates whilst wearing your best shoes.
The good news? With a little thought (and a sense of humour), it can be joyful, relaxed and beautiful. Here come some practical, tried-and-tested ideas to help you ALL enjoy your wedding day as a couple and as a family.
1) Pack the 'mini survival kit'
A small travel bag prepared a week or so in advance is worth its weight in gold. Think of it as your wedding-day nappy bag, even if nappies are long gone.
Include:
- A change of clothes
- A favourite small toy or comforter
- Snacks and a drink
- Eco-friendly wipes (or flannel/tissues)
- Any essential medication
Keep it streamlined. The full kit can stay in the car or your accommodation, but having the basics close to hand will save you from dashing about in your wedding attire.
2) Keep them fed and watered
Hungry children and wedding schedules don’t mix. Early get-ups and excitement mean little tummies empty quickly. Have snacks ready to keep them topped up during the wedding. For younger children, bring their usual water bottle; something recognisable and soothing when everything else is different.
Top Tip: Ask your caterer if children’s plates can be served first. Sitting patiently through speeches when they’ve been promised tea-time rarely ends well!
3) Choose comfort over “picture perfect”
Children are not designed to stand still, looking angelic for hours. Choose outfits that they can move in.
- Avoid fiddly fastenings.
- Braces are brilliant for keeping shirts tucked in.
- Let them wear in new shoes around the house first.
- Bring spare shoes. Always bring spare shoes.
If mud happens, it happens. It’s a wedding in the UK – we plan for romance, but we prepare for all weather!
4) Respect routines (as much as you can)
Weddings usually mean late evenings and early mornings. Take a pushchair or pram to the venue so babies or toddlers can have a powernap. Consider checking into your hotel or B&B a couple of days early to settle in. New surroundings feel less overwhelming after a good night’s sleep.
5) Plan childcare properly
If you’re eloping, your children will be with you all the time, including for photographs. For toddlers, a pushchair keeps them warm and dry outdoors. For older children, wellies and waterproofs are essential for outdoor venues. Mud washes out; wedding memories stick forever.
If you’re hosting guests, decide in advance:
- Who is responsible for the little ones during the ceremony
- Who takes over during photographs
- Who keeps an eye on them during speeches
Make it explicit. “We thought Auntie Sue was watching them” is not a reliable childcare strategy. Some couples choose to hire a professional nanny for the day. It may be a game-changer, giving you space to focus on your vows and your guests while knowing your children are safe and happy.
6) Have a wedding morning plan
Getting ready is one of the most special parts of the day. Trying to do that whilst negotiating cereal, cartoons, and missing socks can be challenging.
Decide in advance:
- Who is looking after the children before the wedding begins?
- When will the children first see Mum/Dad as a bride/groom?
- Who will get the children ‘wedding ready?’
If you’re getting ready separately, think about how the children might react to seeing you in wedding attire for the first time. For some children, it’s magical. For others, it’s overwhelming. A calm moment together before the ceremony can help – just not 30 seconds before you walk down the aisle.
Starting a new chapter as a family
7) Keep a quiet distraction in your back pocket
A small surprise can work wonders during the ceremony or speeches. It doesn’t need to be extravagant – just something new and engaging.
Avoid:
- Anything noisy
- Anything messy
- Anything that bounces
Harmonicas and wedding ceremonies are not natural companions!
8) Give them a meaningful role (with a safety net)
Children usually love having a job:
- Ring bearer
- Confetti helper
- Handing out favours
- Even saying a few words
But remember, wedding nerves affect adults, so they’ll affect little ones too. If children change their mind at the last minute, that’s perfectly fine. Always have a Plan B and let them know there’s no pressure.
Also, do check practicalities. Bubbles and petals look charming in theory, but combined with candles or polished floors, they can be a health and safety nightmare.
A few extra gentle reminders
Keep family photographs to a minimum, as children have a limited posing window. Accept that something small will probably not go to plan. Often, the slightly chaotic moments are the ones that make everyone laugh years later. As long as no one is in danger and you’re married at the end of it, consider it a triumph.
Things to do:
- Arrive a few days early if possible
- Pack children’s bags well in advance
- Try outfits on beforehand
- Be realistic about energy levels (theirs and yours)
- Ask for help from family, friends and your venue team
Things not to do:
- Put pressure on yourself for perfection
- Expect children to behave like miniature adults
- Forget to enjoy the fact that your family is right there with you
Getting married with children isn’t about creating a flawless day. It’s about celebrating your commitment in the middle of real family life – sticky fingers, bear hugs and all.
And when it all feels a little lively, just remember: this is your family wedding day. It might be slightly unscripted at times, but family is what brought you to this moment after all.
Thank You
Thank you to our fantastic recommended photographers for sharing their photographs of wonderful family weddings, including Jenna Carpenter, Clare Gelderd, Jo Greenfield and Chris Freer.
FURTHER INFORMATION
If you have enjoyed this blog, please leave a comment to let us know or share it with someone who may find it helpful.
Here are some further blogs you may find of interest…
