How to enjoy your wedding as an introvert


Weddings for Introverts

Not all of us are the life and soul of the party – unless the guests are our nearest and dearest of course. And delivering a presentation to an audience at work in ‘professional’ mode is one thing… wearing your heart on your sleeve to say your wedding vows in front of a crowd is quite another! We often hear couples say they want to be married but without the grand wedding day itself. The thought of socialising with all those people makes them feel overwhelmed not energised. Well help is at hand! If you’re more of a social introvert than an extrovert, a small wedding could be just the ticket. Small is beautiful in more ways than one… weddings for introverts

Perfectly Sized Lakeland Wedding Barn
Perfectly Sized Rustic Lakeland Wedding Barn

We work with couples all the time and know that it’s 100% possible to relish your wedding day, even if the limelight is not for you.

So if you’re a Piglet, not a Tigger, or a wallflower rather than a social butterfly, celebrate your quietness and read on for our introvert’s guide to not just surviving but thriving on your wedding day…

Guests enjoy a welcome drink on the terrace at a small wedding venue
A drinks reception for a bijoux wedding party

A perfect match

If you are a reserved person by nature, choose a small, intimate setting for your special day. A wedding venue that is exclusively yours is ideal. Being surrounded by only those closest to you creates a comfortably relaxed atmosphere. With no pressure to interact with lots of new and unfamiliar people, you can focus on just being yourself. You’re also more likely to feel relaxed if strangers aren’t using the venue at the same time as your wedding party too.

Small Barn Wedding tablescape
Small Barn Wedding tablescape

time to talk

The joy of a small wedding is that as the couple getting married, you can spend time quality time with ALL your guests. They already know and love you, so there’s no need for polite small talk with distant relatives you never see leaving you feeling drained! Sharing heartfelt conversation on a day that’s about love, family, and friendship creates a feeling of warmth and wraps you up in a ‘wedding bubble’ where you feel safe and secure.

A bride and groom dance outside on a barn terrace whilst their guests look on in the distance
Relaxed weddings allow couples to be present in the moment

Be in the moment

Let’s face it, many of us have felt anxious or uncomfortable about a social situation at some point in our lives. A wedding day brings a whole host of different emotions. Even the most confident couples feel nervous saying their vows in front of a hundred people! A smaller wedding means you are less likely to feel overwhelmed and more likely to feel present and in the moment. After all the planning and dreaming of you big day, the last thing you want to be thinking is ‘let’s just get it over with’ as you walk down the aisle!

Caroline with Lynn and Graham on their wedding day

You're in safe hands

Planning a small wedding is usually much less stressful and more manageable. A venue with a small, consistent wedding team is a huge help to introverts. Building a trusting relationship with a familiar voice at the end of the phone makes dealing with any problems that might arise much easier.

A small team will get to know you and your wedding worries. They can support you along your wedding journey, taking the strain out of the process if you find dealing with people tricky. Having an experienced hand to hold during the build-up and on the day itself may be the reassurance that you need to relax and enjoy the experience.

Small Family Barn Wedding in the Lake District
Small, family wedding in the summertime at Cote How

Feel at home

Choosing a relaxed, intimate wedding style rather than a grand affair isn’t necessarily about budget. Maybe a more intimate gathering is simply a true reflection of who you are as a couple. If a huge guest list isn’t your idea of the perfect day, embrace a more carefully curated crowd with your head held high. Your wedding will feel authentic to your personality, and you’ll instantly feel more at ‘home’ on the day itself. Venues with pretty outdoor garden spaces and cosy ceremony rooms create an atmosphere more like a relaxed family party. The day will flow naturally and feel less daunting. Choose the elements you would like to include…deciding not to have a first dance can be liberating!

Couple enjoying the woodland at Cote How a perfect rural wedding venue
Couple enjoying the woodland at Cote How - a perfect rural wedding venue

camera shy

Brides or grooms who don’t like being the centre of attention or who feel awkward around new people sometimes dread the thought of wedding photography. The secret is to find the right photographer. Ask your venue for some suggestions as to who they feel might compliment you as a couple. Photographers experienced in shooting small weddings will know exactly how to build a rapport and help you relax. Arrange a video call so that you’ve ‘met’ before the big day. Our couples often tell us that their photo experience felt more like chatting and walking with a friend, rather than a formal wedding portrait shoot. Candid images are just as beautiful as posed portraits and your wedding album will tell the story of your wedding day as it unfolds naturally.


Seize the day

Finally, don’t delay to keep the wedding worries at bay! Planning a wedding over several years does allow you to spread the cost, but it can also spread the stress. It is perfectly possible to plan an amazing wedding in a matter of months. Smaller venues may have more availability throughout the year, as they are not an option for couples with extensive guest lists. Shop around, as you may not have to wait as long as you’d think for a Saturday in July! 

The most important thing when planning your wedding is that it should be the kind of day that makes you both happy… whether you’re an introvert or more outgoing. It’s the easiest thing to say, but can be the hardest thing to do! Pressure from friends and relatives can be hard to resist, but choosing a smaller wedding (or even eloping) is the perfect solution for lots of couples. Everyone’s idea of the perfect wedding day is different – and all of them will be memorable and beautiful in their own special way. 

Wedding couple choosing their wedding venue for a short notice wedding
The perfect venue will guide you through your wedding planning journey


You can find out more about our small weddings here.

If you’d like to get married in South Cumbria (Westmorland & Furness), contact the Registrar Team at their Kendal office here 

If you would like to make an Enquiry, you can do so here

A special thank you to our wonderful photographers who have contributed their amazing photos too.You can find out more about our Recommended Wedding Photographers here

If you are a regular wedding supplier here at Cote How and would like to contribute to our wonderful wedding blog, please get in touch.


If you have enjoyed this blog, please leave a comment to let us know or share it with someone one who may find it helpful.

Further Reading:

Wonderful Small Lake District Winter Weddings

Quick Weddings: Your Ultimate Gude to the Perfect Day


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