Finding a Wedding Venue
That reflects who you are
Finding a Wedding Venue - Marissa's Story
Find a wedding venue that reflects who you are isn’t easy. Unbeknownst to me, our dream wedding venue had been nestled in the heart of the Lake District for several hundred years. Years ago, I’d taken a leaflet from Cote How’s gate, excited to find it was an intimate wedding venue surrounded by stunning views. Dan and I were not yet engaged, so I secretly tucked away my excitement somewhere safe—just waiting to be rediscovered.
Our Vision for the Perfect Wedding Venue
Five years later, Dan and I hadn’t placed much pressure on ourselves regarding finding a ‘perfect’ wedding venue. We had flitted around a few wedding fairs but often left feeling more overwhelmed. So many things were thrust at us that were apparently ‘must haves’ on your big day. It was exhausting just thinking about it!
I dreamt of my wedding day being a time of gratitude, calm, and laughter with the people I care about most. I am easily overwhelmed in crowded settings, so on my wedding day, I wanted to be present and feel connected to the person I would be with for the rest of my life.
Although I have cherished memories of my friends’ weddings, my heart had something else in mind.
When I closed my eyes and imagined my wedding, the ceremony was the most memorable part of the day. This is not surprising, as creating calming and nurturing rituals in my home brings me joy. We wanted to walk down the aisle, look at one another, and feel completely connected in a ‘once in a lifetime’ moment. I love my family and friends dearly, but entertaining a throng of guests hoping to be graced with more alcohol than confetti wasn’t something I looked forward to!
Finding our Dream Venue
Dan and I took another trip to the Lakes to walk past Cote How. Peeking over the gates to glimpse the spectacular scenery, we knew why ‘that beautiful white house’ captured our hearts all those years ago. We met Caroline, the Director of Cote How Lake District Weddings, a week later. Cote How is her family home, along with her partner Steve. Greeted by a resident wild deer gazing through the garden hedge, I instantly felt grounded and at ease. Cote How perfectly blends English heritage, nature, and ethereal magic. It was serendipitous to discover it had previously been an organic tearoom, as I spend much of my free time nestled in cosy tea rooms and coffee shops. Tea is as much a part of who I am as the air I breathe. It would be hard to choose between the two!
Caroline made us comfortable, pouring perfectly brewed cups of tea from a beautiful vintage teapot. At that moment, I knew Cote How, like my fiancé Dan, was ‘the one’. Finding a wedding venue was a box ticked!
Caroline guided us through creating a simple yet elegant wedding experience. She was considerate of personal family complications that made planning our guest list tricky and explained how an elopement style would suit us. Caroline helped us to broach the topic of elopement with family. We are so grateful for her advice and support. Returning home with a stunning watercolour painting of the venue, we tucked it away, knowing soon it would hang in the hallway as a welcome to our home.
Staying True to Who We Are
Accommodating the diverse needs of our family and friends put us under some planning pressure. Eloping or having a small wedding can feel scary when loved ones expect a non-negotiable invitation, especially if you have attended their wedding.
Dan and I knew in our hearts that micro-wedding or elopement was more aligned with us as a couple, but it is difficult to share this with individuals with different views. But even if family and friends want the best for you, they aren’t you. We advise staying true to who you are and what you want. Those who love and care for you will accept your decision, even if they feel disappointed. You can include your nearest and dearest in your wedding without having them at the venue.
Our Wedding Planning Journey
Visiting Cote How was an excellent way for Caroline to get to know us and plan meaningful details, such as a roaring fire to sit by in Cote How’s drawing room. All my creature comforts were catered for, including an enormous pot of tea and wedge of our favourite raspberry and white chocolate cake on vintage china. If I had chosen a different venue or larger-scale wedding, I’d not have had a chance to sit down, let alone sip a cup of tea and calmly enjoy a slice of our wedding cake! It’s a small thing, but it was important to me. Finding a wedding venue that listened mattered.
The entire planning process with Cote How felt natural and calm. We bonded over more cups of tea with the lovely Rachel, Cote How’s wedding planner. It’s incredible how well Rachel and Caroline understood us and how much time they dedicated to making our day special. We wouldn’t have experienced such personal service at a more corporate wedding venue.
A Stress-Free Wedding Experience
Cote How uses a wedding planning portal that is accessible online 24/7. Dan and I could sit down together and choose specially selected local suppliers. It helped us manage our finances, and wedding planning became an enjoyable activity instead of a chore.
Many brides have shared their anxiety about their wedding planning journey with me. Yet Dan and I were amazed at how seamless it was. We could curate our plans and final touches remotely through the wedding planning portal. We didn’t have to worry about these on the wedding day, as Caroline and Rachel managed them all.
Dan and I chose the ‘Loved Ones’ package – the intimacy of an elopement wedding but including our parents and siblings. We invited three family members each and have not regretted our decision. Caroline and Rachel gently supported us when we felt pressure to expand our guest list. It’s easy to get swept up in expectations to appease other people or in who you think you ‘should’ invite. Even though it was hard not to invite family members and close friends, a small micro-wedding was right for us.
Dan and I had the opportunity to spend time with our small wedding party both the night before and after our wedding at our hotel. The time we spent with each person was more meaningful, and the memories we made on our wedding day felt sacred. Our wedding day was a collection of beautiful moments filled with genuine love and kindness, and we were present for every moment.
Amazing Wedding Suppliers
Cote How has a team of recommended specialist wedding providers, including florists, photographers, makeup artists and dog chaperones. They left no stone unturned on quality and professionalism, which we found reassuring. Jenna Carpenter was our wedding photographer, Lucy Pearson our makeup and hair stylist, and the Dapper Dog team cared for our Shetland sheepdog Otto.
Working with Dapper Dogs was one of the most memorable parts of the day. We felt so reassured about Otto’s welfare and well-being. For any bride or groom with a dog that is very much part of the family, the Dapper Dog team makes it a dream come true for them to attend your wedding.
The only things we needed to organise personally were our wedding outfits, accessories, and Registry —and to turn up on the day!
Wedding Dreams Come True
Cote How is a special wedding venue. We loved getting married outside in the doorway of a charming Lakeland barn. The indoor spaces are stunning and have a timeless, classic vibe. I adored the art-deco-inspired ‘get ready’ room, where my mum and I spent quality time together finishing my makeup, drinking tea, and putting on my dress. These are cherished moments I will never forget.
Cote How was the best wedding venue we could have chosen. If you are looking for an elegant and charismatic venue with all the intimate charm of the countryside, Cote How may be ‘your place’. We felt seen and heard as a couple, and the family team created the most magical wedding day possible. Above all, we had time to truly ‘be’ with one another throughout the whole experience, as we found a wedding venue that reflected who we were as a couple.
Watch Marissa & Dan's interview with Caroline
Here is the full-length video of Caroline’s interview with the gorgeous Marissa and Dan! Their heartfelt and enthusiastic advice will help any couple finding the perfect wedding venue.
There are chapters in this video, so hover over the timeline, or read the description beneath the video, and click on the times to skip to a specific section.
Let me know what you think in the comments below!
Caroline
THANK YOUS:
Many thanks to all of our suppliers, but special mentions to Jenna Carpenter Photography and Dapper Dogs for their wonderful services. If you are a regular wedding supplier here at Cote How and would like to contribute to our wonderful wedding blog, please get in touch.
FURTHER INFORMATION:
If you have enjoyed this blog, please leave a comment to let us know. Share with someone who may find it helpful! If you’d like details about how to book a ceremony in our area, contact the Westmorland and Furness Registrar team.
Further Reading:
